Patrick Kenney

Our Dear Friend, Patrick Kenney

 

Our dear friend, Patrick Kenney,
passed away on Friday, October 14, 2005.

It is hard for me to go into details,
but there are truths that need to be known.

Patrick finished having lunch with our friend, RJ, who has since told us that they were laughing all through their sushi lunch (one of Patrick's favorites). Apparently, PK talked all about his friends and family (as usual!). They both entered the crosswalk at the busy corner of Crescent Heights and Sunset, when a car made a turn against a red light and hit two oncoming cars. One of the cars struck both RJ and Patrick as well as another pedestrian sitting at the bus stop nearby.

RJ, who was released from the hospital with bruises, but in otherwise ok condition, wants to stress that they were both laughing as they were crossing the street, and it all happened in the blink of an eye. It is believed that Patrick passed quickly, as tragic as it is, but without suffering.

It is still an unbelievable shock.

There are a number of us here, in West Hollywood, that saw and spoke to Patrick nearly every day. We have spent this weekend together, supporting eachother and remembering what an INCREDIBLE force of life he was. Needless to say: a memorable character from the moment you met him.

I created this website as a place for anyone who knew Patrick, to share special memories/stories/anecdotes because, as we all know, he had plenty of stories of his own! We always wanted him to write them down and sell them!

This will also be a place where you can come for updates and details about services for Patrick. At the time of this posting, funeral arrangements are still being made, so the specific dates and times aren't set yet.
The location is:

O.B. Davis Funeral Home
1001 Route 25a
Miller Place, NY 11764
(631) 744-1001

For those that won't be able to make the services in New York, we are putting together a memorial/tribute night for him at Hamburger Mary's, here in West Hollywood, where our friend RJ used to be a manager. We felt it was appropriate since it was one of Patrick's favorite local hangouts. He knew the waiters and waitresses, bartenders, managers and even one of the owners, Dale. Dale has generously agreed to host the tribute at Hambuger Mary's, while one of Patrick's favorite people and performer's, The Fabulous Belle Aire, is hoping to be a part of the festivities as well. I say festivities, because I know that Patrick would want it to be that way -fun- with stories, laughing, singing, along with all the joyful, emotional, tearful moments. Sounds like a recipe for one of his favorite movies! The date is tentatively set for Friday, November 4, from 4-7pm. Of course if there are any changes, we will post these here, as well as an update email.

Hamburger Mary's
8288 Santa Monica Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90046
(323) 654-3800

If you'd like to make a donation, the charity that we've chosen is the "AIDS Project Los Angeles" - or APLA. One of the last things that Patrick did, was to donate to support the AIDS Walk event here in LA, meant to raise awareness and contributions to APLA. In Patrick's own words "In honor of my friends still living and fighting."  I walked the 10k distance this Sunday morning, not just for APLA, but for Patrick, too. I hope to have a web address to donate to as a tribute to Patrick Kenney - but in the mean time, here's the main address information.

APLA
611 South Kingsley Drive
Los Angeles, CA 90005
(213) 201-1600
AIDS Walk LA

I am also hoping that we can come up with some way to permanently, and publicly recognize Patrick as one of the most special people we've known. He deserves it.

Some ideas have been:
- a permanent bench at the bus stop, with a plaque remembering him.
- a tree or bed of flowers planted at that location in his memory.
- something to do with photography as it was his passion and career for the last few years.

Speaking of which, if you haven't checked out his incredible work, please take the time to visit his website - he poured his heart into it just a few months ago.

So post what you can - even if it's just a couple words. I know Patrick will be reading EVERYTHING. :)
And if you have any pictures you'd like me to post here to share with everyone, please email me: matthead@gmail.com.

With much love and support,
Matt

Whole Heartedly

The comments left on this website, as well as the many, many emails that I've gotten - are rock solid proof of how unique and special Patrick Kenney was to all of us.

I met Patrick on my first day of work at PDI, (in Palo Alto, south of San Francisco) back in '97. I had just driven up from LA and had all my stuff and my two cats in some random hotel room a couple miles from work. Well as far as Patrick was concerned, that was insane. I would end up living on Patrick's couch, with my cat's in his living room for the following 6 weeks - waiting for my studio apartment to open up. And Patrick was allergic to cats. Hello generosity.

We quickly learned how quirky we both were, how much of our TV/Movies/Musical tastes were in common, and how we could both end up laughing so hard we would cry. That happened often. Years went by. It got to that point, you know, where you could be starting to say something - and the other person would finish it. Or you would say something one way, but your face would say another. Or your tone would. And he was a PRO at decifering tone. Hello aggravating! We were never married, but many of our friends thought we were.

Patrick would get the itch to move. I think he liked the challenge of starting things over - getting a fresh start. But he hated not having his friends around. He'd move back. And forth. And when he moved down to LA, I didn't last for long without him around (so I moved down, too). He was my movie buddy. He was my go-and-get-a-bite-to-eat- but-not-necessarily-talk-a-whole-bunch-during-the-meal buddy. He was my call-me-on-my-sh** buddy. He was my no-one-gets-this-joke-but-you-and-me buddy.
.
.
.

And I'll never forget him.

I can't tell you how great it makes me feel, personally, to have loved someone as much as I did Patrick, and then realize that mine is just a sample of the love coming from this huge community of friends and family. Patrick often wore his emotions on his sleeve, and because of that, you always knew how much he loved you.

I know that he is absolutely glowing after hearing/reading your heartfelt words and wishes.

Updates
===========
The family is having a two-day wake for Patrick, in the O.B. Davis Funeral Home, Miller Place, NY, as mentioned in the previous post. The times and days are as follows:

Oct 20 * Thursday * 7-10pm
Oct 21 *   Friday   * 2-5pm  &  7-10pm

The funeral will be held on Saturday morning. I will pass on location information in another post.

If you wish to send flowers or condolences to the family, please contact me (matthead@gmail.com) and I will pass that information on to you.

I have also received word from APLA about donating a gift in memory of Patrick. If you would like to do that, please contact Shannon Tervo at 213-201-1407 or email her at stervo@apla.org.

Regarding charity, we would also like to announce the opportunity to purchase some of Patrick's fine art photography. We will be holding an auction during the PK Tribute at Hamburger Mary's (address in the previous post) on Friday, November 4th (4-7pm). All proceeds will go directly to APLA, and are tax-deductible.

I received this message from them:

"On behalf of all of us at AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA), please accept our deepest sympathy for the tragic loss of Patrick. As a supporter of APLA, Patrick's loss also signifies a loss to the APLA family and we hope to do anything we can to keep his memory alive."

That's about it for today. By the way - just because you may have posted a comment/memory/anecdote/joke/story already, doesn't mean you can't leave another one! Unless, of course, you're trying to save the meatiest for the Tribute!

Very sincerely,
Matt

Confirmation

Details are filling in and dates and times have been confirmed.

Patrick's Wake and Funeral will both be held at
O.B. Davis Funeral Home
1001 Route 25a
Miller Place, NY 11764
(631) 744-1001

Wake hours:
Thurs, Oct 20, 2-4pm 7-9pm
Friday, Oct 21, 2-4pm 7-9pm

Funeral will begin at approximately 10am on Saturday morning. If interested in a specific time, please email me matthead@gmail.com.

The memorial/tribute for those closer to Los Angeles, is being put together by his friends here in West Hollywood. It's been confirmed for the following location, date and time:

Hamburger Mary's
8288 Santa Monica Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90046

Friday, Nov 4, 4-7pm

I know that it will be an amazing evening and I want people to come prepared with their favorite Patrick Kenney story. Or simply words about how he stood out in your life. Yes, there will be a microphone. We will need one as I'm expecting a large crowd of PK friends and family. (It will be a private function.) We will also be having an auction for some of his beautifully framed prints, as well as small photo books of his work available for purchase. All money raised will be donated to APLA in Patrick Kenney's name.

I am currently working to see if I can get some sort of company donation matching either from MY employer, Dreamworks Animation, or both PK's and my previous employer, Electronic Arts. It's a long shot - but it's for a cause that Patrick believed in, and I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.

If you've already donated to APLA - THANK YOU. If you haven't yet but are going to help out, I ask you to hold off until I find out the best way to channel the funds. I know that Patrick was always about making the most out of his money - and I intend to honor that tradition!

Thanks to everyone that has posted - and to those many people who have sent me separate emails as well. It's not surprising that there's so much love in the room for PK ... it's an overwhelming confirmation of what we already knew.

Until tomorrow...
Matt

Eulogy

My friends and I just got back from New York last night.

The services were filled with love and tears. But there was still something there apparently impossible to keep down - laughter. His family opened their arms to all of his friends, knowing that we were another side of PK's family. We shared a lot of stories that haven't yet made it to the website and all of them made us laugh. His mother, Helene is an irish spitfire - very emotional but strong and supportive of everyone around her. Simply amazing. We're looking forward to being with a number of them next week, when they fly out to LA to deal with the logitistics of Patrick's apartment, etc. They also really wanted to come to the memorial/tribute on Nov 4th.

I've gotten a copy of the eulogy that his sister, Katie, delivered at the church service on Saturday. It was incredible how it captured who Patrick was, and what he meant to so many of us. I was kind of hoping there were things that I was going to be able to say that the family wouldn't know - but Katie covered everything I was thinking. It was delivered through tears. I am thankful that Katie offered to have it posted on this website. I hope that you can take a few moments and read this beautiful eulogy.

***

Standing here in front of all of you, I'm so afraid I won't honor Patrick the way I should, the way he deserves to be honored.  How do I convey to you what it was like to have had the privilege of being the sister of someone who could light up a room? How would any of my brothers and sisters do the same?  And how would our mother, who was always his biggest champion, even begin to describe the sheer joy she felt having him for a son?

I'm sure most of you know just how lucky we were to have had him in our lives because it only took a few minutes in his presence to realize there was something special about him. And in that few minutes you began to feel special yourself because he had a way of making you feel so important, and it seemed that he was giving himself totally over to just you.  And you couldn't get enough of it. His nieces and nephews can tell you that each one of them was made to feel like they were his favorite, because each one of them was.

Patrick's personality was so unique. It was like no other we've ever known.  There is no one we can think of that was quite the same, and we have known this since we were children. Our memories are flooded with scenes of us laughing together, playing together, getting in trouble together, just growing up. And as adults we knew our time together was so precious that when he would come home from California he would try to make time to stay with as many of us as he could. He was our little celebrity, and everyone wanted a piece of him.

Patrick could be hysterically funny simply by opening his mouth and speaking, or making a gesture that was so "Patrick".   It wasn't an effort, or something practiced. It was just the way he was. You were always so excited to just experience his life alongside him, and you knew that if you were going to be spending any time with him, you were going to be entertained because no matter where you were going, or what you were doing, he was not going to hold back. Whether he was renting a Hummer for our Mom to make one of her dreams come true or throwing himself a 40th birthday party with all the trimmings, Patrick went all out.  Life was his stage and we were all blessed enough to have been his audience, and his biggest fans. He went through life knowing what most of us do not know.  You need to live each day as if it were your last. Everywhere he traveled, every food he tasted, every wine he sipped, every movie he saw and every life he touched along the way only made him want to experience more. He squeezed more out of life in his 42 years than most of us will if we live to be 100.  He couldn't wait to see what the rest of the world had to offer. And he desperately wanted everyone else to share his experiences.  He would say, "Oh my God, you HAVE to try this!"  or "You HAVE to go see this movie! What a howl!!"   Maybe his desire to share his experiences is what brought him to his love of photography.  What better way to share his view of the world? 

Years ago when Patrick moved to California he surrounded himself with people that would eventually become family.  We are all are so grateful to them for being there and building their lives around him.  Many of them are here with us today, and we grieve as one, united in our common love for this gifted, generous, joyous man, who was anything but common.

So now that God has decided that he wants our sweet Irish Patrick in heaven, for reasons unknown to us, and even against our will, we find we are in no position to argue. But what are we supposed to do without him? How will we ever be able to fill the emptiness that we are all feeling? Honestly, I don't know if I can answer that.  The only thing I can think of is to try and live life a little more like Patrick did. Maybe if we laugh a little harder, take a few more risks, share our gifts with the world, touch more people?go out and make our mark, remembering how short and precious life is, a small piece of Patrick will live on in each of us.

Slan go foill Padraic, agus beannacht leat mo chuisle dearthair.
(Slawn go foyl Pawrig, oggus bannockt lyat muh kwish-la drih har).

Goodbye for now Patrick, and God bless you darling brother.

***

Patrick's last moments

I received this email from Diane Fisher, a Registered Nurse, who was supporting Patrick seconds after the accident.

To the Friends & Family of Patrick Kenney

I was at the intersection of Crescent Heights & Sunset Blvd when the
accident which took Patrick’s life occurred.  I, like many others responded
to see if I could provide any aid.

I crawled under the vehicle which struck Patrick, & remained with him until
the paramedics arrived and relieved me.

I thought you would like to know that from the time I arrived (between 30-60
seconds after impact) Patrick was unconscious. He did NOT cry out or in
anyway indicate he was in pain.  I am a Registered Nurse and my education /
experience has taught me that in some cases people who are unconscious are
able to hear what is going on around them. With that in mind, I continuously
spoke to Patrick, held his hand and was cradling his face in my hand as he
passed.

It is my hope that the knowledge that Patrick was not alone will bring you
some measure of comfort.

It was my privilege to be with him.

Diane

Thank you to Diane, for sharing this important message.

Celebrate his life.

So Friday will be tough. There will be tears - but we'll often be laughing through those tears. This memorial / tribute night is really meant to pull people together. Give eachother a place to share in all the humour and love and friendship that Patrick gave each of us. I want to think of it as a celebration, a "MAN are we happy that we met this friggin incredible guy" kind of night. He enriched our experiences on this planet and let's remember that!

Please come if you can. We'll share a few drinks and stories, listen to music he loved, and meet many new people who cared for him like we did. There will be a couple performances (so come early!) as well as an auction for many of his beautifully framed prints. And just remember, all money raised will be sent directly to APLA (AIDS Project LA). I also wanted to let people know, that Electronic Arts (EA), where Patrick worked in San Francisco, will be matching all money raised - doubling our donations. And contacts at APLA have assured us that we will be able to donate in honor of Patrick, allowing us to see exactly how much we've raised in his name.

If you can't make it to the tribute on Friday, but would still like to donate - we're trying to make it easy for you. Dave Blizard, one of PK's closest friends, who works at EA, has set up a PayPal.com account to which all donations will be going (don't worry - he's trustworthy!). Since EA will only match donations made by EA employees, Dave will be making the donations through this PayPal account. If you have questions about this, or would like to send Dave a note of thanks, his email address is dblizard@ea.com. That is the email address you would "send money to" through PayPal as well.

If you'd like to go apla.org directly to donate, instead of having EA double your money, you can do that as well. To have your generous donation placed under Patrick's name, please contact Shannon Tervo, by e-mail at stervo@apla.org, or by phone at (213) 201-1407. All donations made to APLA are tax deductible.

Anyway - enough with the money talk already. I can't wait to meet and hug and laugh with you guys. If you have photos you'd like to share, we'll have a board up for you as well.

Just so you guys know - there are about 90 comments that have been left here by friends and relatives - which is fantastic. But I have gotten almost 170 emails from other people that haven't even posted on this website. Some of which were filled with paragraphs of anecdotes and memories - all were filled with words of comfort and support. I wanted to publicly thank ALL of you for taking the time to write. I haven't been able to get back to all of you like I should - but I really do love everyone for sharing with me and the rest of our friends and his family. And don't feel like you can't send in more than one comment or picture! Email me at matthead@gmail.com if you have a picture or 10 you want me to post - there's no limitations here!

See you at Hamburger Mary's (click for map)
on Friday - Nov 4 - from 4-7pm.

Not Forgotten

Well the tribute on November 4th was really incredible. What made it so great was the diversity of friends and family that Patrick was able to finally bring together.

The performances by Belle Aire and Craig (the Patsy Cline sound-alike) were very emotional and heartfelt, and affected a lot of us more than expected. I want to make sure they know I still appreciate their contribution to that memorable night.

With the help of Belle Aire's good friend (read alter ego), Scott, we were able to raise over $3000 for APLA, through the auctioning off of Patrick's prints. Electronic Arts has promised to double that - which is fantastic. I want to let you know as well, that I will be going through Patrick's digital and hardcopy prints that we were able to keep. Those photos will be available to friends in digital format for you to print out at whatever size you wish - with a suggested donation amount of $25 per picture. Of course these are meant for your personal use only, and not meant for commercial purposes (sorry HAD to say it!). Once I've got that organized (hopefully in the next 2 weeks) - I'll send out a note with a webgallery link.

Before I let you go, I wanted to ask for your snail-mail mailing address. I had created a memento for people to have at the tribute, but they didn't come back from the printers in time. So I'm hoping to collect your mailing address so that I can send one out to you. Mail me at matthead@gmail.com ... I think you'll appreciate this little reminder of PK.

Thanks again for reading... Patrick lives on through all of us.
Matt

Patrick loved his Christmas

Hello From Tim Gales.  Happy Holidays to everyone.  This season is very sad for us all as Patrick loved his Christmas.  I miss him even more than ever during this holiday.   With the Help of Jeannie Rivenbark, a good friend of Patrick's, I was able to digitize and create mp3's of Patrick's very own Christmas cassette we made in 1988. It was made in my closet with a small four track recorder. It brings back such wonderful memories of all of us laughing and playing around.  I still see us sitting at my coffee table making the cassette covers like we were stars.  He was so excited to take this home to his family.  I have made them available for download on http://www.timandbrian.com.  Please download them for your favorite mp3 player. Help keep Patrick alive this Christmas.  Hope you all have a wonderful Holiday.

Hugs
Tim Gales